Wednesday August 19^th, 2020
A daily e-mailer from
Matt Matthews
 
To Members and Friends of 
First Presbyterian Church
Champaign, Illinois
 
Dear Friends,
 
Fourth Grade Humor Edition/Animal Jokes:
 
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
 
How did the anteater do in the race? She won by a nose.
 
What do you call a sleeping tyrannosaurus rex? A dinosnore.
 
What do you call a frog who is illegally parked? Toad.
 
What do you call a bug with a sore throat? A hoarse fly.
 
 
A Joke for Bankers, Financial Advisors, and Frogs:
 
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller’s name is Patricia Whack. So he says, “Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation.”
 
Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
 
The frog says $30,000.
 
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s OK, he knows the bank manager.
 
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
 
Very confused, Patti explains that she’ll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
 
She finds the manager and says “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral.” She holds up the tiny pink elephant. “I mean, what the heck is this?”
 
The bank manager looks back at her and says: “It’s a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone”
  
* * *

News:
Mid-week Gathering TONIGHT 7 pm
Email zoom@firstpres.church for the link.

Good Word:
 
Philippians 4              
4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.[d] 5 Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. 6 Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
 
Let us pray:
 
O God in all my seriousness,
                  and the seriousness that 
                  these times require,
may I recall your great love
                  and your mighty help—
and rejoice.
 
AMEN.
 
 
Much, much love to you all.
 
Matt Matthews
Cell: 864.386.9138
Matt@FirstPres.Church